Bryan's Blog

Saturday, August 26, 2006

What is Love?

Most of us were in love before and I believe most of us have their own partner or even partners in life. I can sense that few were happy, few were so so and many may encounter problems with their partner. In love-themed movies, when there is a misunderstanding or failure in relationship, he/she will ask "What is love?" "Is love suppose to bring happiness rather than suffering?"

Well, I don't claim that I am a spiritual teachers or expert in love. At least I have been through many ups and downs in relationship in the past. Probably more downs than ups. Now, this post is entirely my very own experience in dealing with relationship.

Love should be not be measured quantitatively, for love is a deep feeling inside us. Why most people just love to measure love, most probably because of self-ego. You may heard your partner or even you yourself asked "How much you love me?" "Why you spend much of your time with your work... or friends .. or blah blah blah?" Or in triangle relationship "Why you treat him/her better than me?"

Ego is being created by our mind, as we think too much. We want someone to give us priority. We want our partner to know that we "own" them and thus, we can demand this and that. In fact, these are all ego, and in long term it'll do harm to ourselves.

When we feel deep inside ourselves, we will only realise that love is all about qualitative. Your partner may be busy with his work, friends etc, but does that mean he/she doesn't love you anymore? Or in triangle relationship, if your partner spend some time with his other partner, does that mean he didn't care about you?

Well, try this exercise. Those questions that I posted above, try to think with your brain and listen to what your brain said. It will give you a lot of negative impression. Probably it will says "Yeah, he doesn't love me anymore" "Hmmm.. his work is more important than me"

Now, try to feel with your heart. Search the answer deep inside your heart by closing your eyes and focusing on ur breathing. You will get the entirely different picture. You can feel the strength of love presence in you and him. You will realise that love is sacred, and you will appreciate it more.

Thus, when you have problems with your partners, seek the answer from your heart and not from your mind. You will get positive and clear picture, and not least peace and calmness.

Remember, love will never turn to hate overnight in a short period of time. Only our self-ego will destroy our love. True love will exist no matter what happened. Even you will still love your ex as a human being (as I posted about intimacy before).

After reading this post, many people may said "It's easier said than done". But in reality, if you don't try it, how do you know it won't works? Again, I can do it, and why not you?

Love is a gift to all human beings. Don't destroy it with our own self-ego.


(P/S: I will post some examples about relationships next)

Saturday, August 12, 2006

FOR ART...
A nice song that I would like to dedicated to you
Mencintaimu...
Loving you

Seumur hidupku
for the rest of my life

Selamanya...
forever

Setia menanti
faithfully waiting

Walau di hati saja...
Although it only said in my heart

Seluruh hidupku
for the rest in my life

Selamanya...
forever

Kau tetap milikku
You always belong to me
Reff:
Hanya satu yang tak mungkin kembali
There's only one that i couldn't take back (my love)

Hanya satu yang tak pernah terjadi
There's only one that never been happened (i took away my love)

Segalanya...
forever

Teramat berarti di hatiku
You are too meaning to me in my heart
Selamanya...
forever

I already let you listening to this song while we were on taxi back to your home in Bangkok last week. Hope you enjoy it! Love...

I LOST MY MOBILE PHONE

For bloggers to have in contact with me via mobile, I am sorry to say that I lost my mobile phone at the Curve after my usual class on Sat. As such, please email me your contact no to my email address at m2128@hotmail.com or my contact number after Monday 14 August 2006.

I have to get my new SIM card from Maxis on Monday.

Sorry for any inconvenience caused for those who tried to contact me for the past 2 days.

Bryan

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

INTIMACY
Many of us believe nowadays intimacy is about two people commit and love each other. Well, it is not wrong for this concept as intimacy will lead to marriage, having children (in the case of straight couples), sharing love and thoughts etc.
However, if we really broaden our thoughts for intimacy, we can achieve intimacy with many kinds of people. With colleagues, family members, friends, acquaitances etc. Well, many of you may not agree with me, but I do agree with what have been written in "The Art of Happiness" by Dalai Lama. He defined intimacy as more towards sharing of passions, happiness and problems with each other.
It was common (though not all) that single people (those without partners) felt lonely because they feel they are lack of intimacy. Loneliness being created when we feel that we can't share our love with other people. But loneliness can be totally be avoided as intimacy can be created with people around us. Probably most people don't aware of this.
I had been single since I broke up with my first ex, which was 9 years back. For almost 5 years, I was in search of intimate relationship, well, in this era we referred it to steady partners. I felt lonely at that time, but now I do realise that I was very wrong, as I didn't appreciate the "intimacy" that I had developed with people around me. I chose to ignore the importance of friendship as I was too desperate to search for partner.
I did found one 4 years back in Bangkok. A lot people said I am crazy having a bf 1600km away from me, most of them thought I could be lonely here. But thanks to the book I have read, with intimacy can be created with just anyone, and I won't feel lonely anymore. As Dalai Lama said, intimacy is not just about having sexual relationship, and intimacy can be created through other means of appreciations, caring, hope and love. I am totally agree with him.
Life will never be lonely and stressful if we define and look things at a different angle. Yet, it's another good example how our perceptions and thoughts greatly influnce our life :)